Be realistic!

The "self help industry" generated about $19 billion dollars in sales in 2009 (readers' digest, 2009). Every where you look you see, motivational books, seminars and TV-shows. What I love about this is that they can give your self-confidence a significant boost! And who cannot use a good confidence booster every now and then? So do these courses and seminars really "boost your self-confidence" and "change your life"

What I see happening during and after these events is that participants are completely pumped up, full of self confidence and ready to implement all the presented tools into their  daily life. Many of the tools are extremely valuable indeed and implementing them into daily life is a great intention. I will be the last to say that this implementation is not possible, the question I do want to ask however is: is it realistic?

The first few days after finishing a seminar, book or course, people set time aside to incorporate the tools into their day to day life. This usually lasts for about a week and then slowly but surely the new tools drift to the background and normal life takes over again. And right at this moment the "beating-up starts" .... "See you could not even implement those simple tools," "I will never get out of this rut," "I am just not good enough." The self-confidence that had gotten such a boost before plummets again and not uncommonly reaches an all time low.

This is of course not the intention of any motivational product. The intention is to get you to a new level of your success. So what is missing? If you ask me, a coaching approach is missing. The most important part in incorporating new tools and habits in life is to make sure you take your current reality into account, honor it, and incorporate your new toys on a realistic basis. Coach yourself, adjust the tools, tweak the frequency to such an extent that it is a bit of a stretch, but not so much that you cannot see yourself taking action. I know, based on my experience, that a self confidence boost, in combination with a realistic plan for realizing your success increases your success significantly!